Do you still remember when you were young, you could voice out what was in your mind? No matter it was something joyful to share about or frustration that you are going through. Obviously how frustrated your frustration can be? Hello – young kids forget things easily. But the point here is children voice it out.
What about now as an adult? Do you feel like voicing out when you feel a sense of urge to do it but often being pulled back by something – hem conscience perhaps? I want to voice it out... I want to tell you but I never have the courage to do so. I wish time could back track – so that I could become a child once again who would voice out her thoughts anytime she wants too.
But now, I feel is inappropriate, it will make things worst and complicated. Perhaps we should look at it in another perspective. Not to know is better than to know. I wish I shouldn’t be too aggressive to pursue my desires for something and it looks like the friendship has mellowed down.
Michelle...don’t voice out. Keep it to your heart. Let Him be the only one listening to you, that’s all it matters most.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
My life in year 2010 thus far
Hello to my dearie bloggy,
Yes I have abandoned you for many months, don’t worry is only for awhile because I finally got my lazy bones back on track. : )
Wow many updates in my life. 2010 is coming to an end soon. All I can say about 2010 – awesome, great and memorable. : )
2010 is a very meaningful year for me mainly because is the first year I started working. My career journey so far has been full of trials and tribulations, whatever it is I am blessed, very blessed to be placed here in my present company. (soon to be a former company) I thank God for placing 2 wonderful employers who treat us well and not stingy to teach us on so many things. But of course I am also proud of myself that I am willing to learn. If I didn’t want to learn, I wouldn’t have gained this much experience.
Coming to December, I will be leaving this company. Got to say bye bye to PR for now because I am going to pursue my dream career which is broadcast. Praise the Lord, He secured me with a job in broadcast. Pewl, looking back – all these happened in such a sudden. I didn’t have the intention to leave this present company so soon, perhaps would want to stay for 1 year plus till 2 years. Making the decision to leave and to join broadcast was a tough one. Firstly, I am doing something that is of complete different field, which means I have to start from scratch. Secondly, I do not know what to anticipate for in my new job – yeah am I well prepared for the irregular working days and hours? People of all kind of attitudes and many more… Well it scares me but I believe this is really coming from the Lord. He won’t let His child to bear the world-ly problems. Frankly, securing a job in broadcast is hell not easy at all and I am so blessed I got this. And what surprised me is I am given an offer of an Assistant Producer. Proud that at age 23, I am already given that title… Anyway, I must always remember to always be humble and respectful towards the others. Hopefully, I will go really far from here. Thank you Lord! Thank you Pastor Carey for reaffirming this with the prophecy! I sow in grace and I shall harvest in grace.
2010 has been a great year for me in my career path, it has also been a hem year of hem great as well for my love life? I am still a happy single lady. Oh come on am still young, don’t need to get attached so soon. Singlehood is good…. You know I thank God for these 2 years (to date) singlehood life. I have become such an independent person, take full charge of my life and not to rely on others so much to meeting my own needs. Thanks ex-bf : ) lol. I always think how is it like to get back to my ex. Will things change? Haha well I know the answer is ‘No’. I won’t fall for the same guy who neglects me even till now he forgets me. But one thing that I really like about him is even though we are friends, he will really spend his own time to comfort me when am down – can remember vividly it was the time when my father had a heart attack. Anyway I know clearly, he can be a good friend, not my partner to be.
This year, 3 guys had actually confessed to me but I turned them down. : ( Oh gosh, I really hate that kind of situation of confronting that person to tell him that ‘Hemm….err….I think we should just remain as friends’. You guys are wonderful friends to me and I do hope that we can remain as close friends forever. I am very blessed that these guys are guys who will really love me much and take care of me but…..feelings are very subjective.
And I know I have special feelings for someone now but I won’t want to pursue it. I believe if he is the one, he will be the one for me. Yeap I agree that if you like a person, you must pursue your heart desire for it. I have my reasons and the only main reason because I am afraid I will be tied down with my new job. I can foresee my life will be fully devoted for that. And if you ask me to choose between love or career – I will say career. Is not that I don’t like this person much but hello it takes two to tango right. I don’t even know if he is just treating me as friends or something special. But like I said, if he is the one, he will eventually be mine. This reminds me of what I said to my pet bro yesterday, “Loving a person doesn’t mean you need to have that person. The greatest love of all is to see that person happy with his or her own life.”So instead of daydreaming about him (lol that’s what people who are in love do right), do something more beneficial with your own life.
I believe for now, God is speeding up things in many areas of my life. I let him to take control and I shall just rest in Him.
Ok I think I have curi-ed almost an hour of my working time to blog. Okie that’s all for now. Buh-byesss
Love, Michelle
Yes I have abandoned you for many months, don’t worry is only for awhile because I finally got my lazy bones back on track. : )
Wow many updates in my life. 2010 is coming to an end soon. All I can say about 2010 – awesome, great and memorable. : )
2010 is a very meaningful year for me mainly because is the first year I started working. My career journey so far has been full of trials and tribulations, whatever it is I am blessed, very blessed to be placed here in my present company. (soon to be a former company) I thank God for placing 2 wonderful employers who treat us well and not stingy to teach us on so many things. But of course I am also proud of myself that I am willing to learn. If I didn’t want to learn, I wouldn’t have gained this much experience.
Coming to December, I will be leaving this company. Got to say bye bye to PR for now because I am going to pursue my dream career which is broadcast. Praise the Lord, He secured me with a job in broadcast. Pewl, looking back – all these happened in such a sudden. I didn’t have the intention to leave this present company so soon, perhaps would want to stay for 1 year plus till 2 years. Making the decision to leave and to join broadcast was a tough one. Firstly, I am doing something that is of complete different field, which means I have to start from scratch. Secondly, I do not know what to anticipate for in my new job – yeah am I well prepared for the irregular working days and hours? People of all kind of attitudes and many more… Well it scares me but I believe this is really coming from the Lord. He won’t let His child to bear the world-ly problems. Frankly, securing a job in broadcast is hell not easy at all and I am so blessed I got this. And what surprised me is I am given an offer of an Assistant Producer. Proud that at age 23, I am already given that title… Anyway, I must always remember to always be humble and respectful towards the others. Hopefully, I will go really far from here. Thank you Lord! Thank you Pastor Carey for reaffirming this with the prophecy! I sow in grace and I shall harvest in grace.
2010 has been a great year for me in my career path, it has also been a hem year of hem great as well for my love life? I am still a happy single lady. Oh come on am still young, don’t need to get attached so soon. Singlehood is good…. You know I thank God for these 2 years (to date) singlehood life. I have become such an independent person, take full charge of my life and not to rely on others so much to meeting my own needs. Thanks ex-bf : ) lol. I always think how is it like to get back to my ex. Will things change? Haha well I know the answer is ‘No’. I won’t fall for the same guy who neglects me even till now he forgets me. But one thing that I really like about him is even though we are friends, he will really spend his own time to comfort me when am down – can remember vividly it was the time when my father had a heart attack. Anyway I know clearly, he can be a good friend, not my partner to be.
This year, 3 guys had actually confessed to me but I turned them down. : ( Oh gosh, I really hate that kind of situation of confronting that person to tell him that ‘Hemm….err….I think we should just remain as friends’. You guys are wonderful friends to me and I do hope that we can remain as close friends forever. I am very blessed that these guys are guys who will really love me much and take care of me but…..feelings are very subjective.
And I know I have special feelings for someone now but I won’t want to pursue it. I believe if he is the one, he will be the one for me. Yeap I agree that if you like a person, you must pursue your heart desire for it. I have my reasons and the only main reason because I am afraid I will be tied down with my new job. I can foresee my life will be fully devoted for that. And if you ask me to choose between love or career – I will say career. Is not that I don’t like this person much but hello it takes two to tango right. I don’t even know if he is just treating me as friends or something special. But like I said, if he is the one, he will eventually be mine. This reminds me of what I said to my pet bro yesterday, “Loving a person doesn’t mean you need to have that person. The greatest love of all is to see that person happy with his or her own life.”So instead of daydreaming about him (lol that’s what people who are in love do right), do something more beneficial with your own life.
I believe for now, God is speeding up things in many areas of my life. I let him to take control and I shall just rest in Him.
Ok I think I have curi-ed almost an hour of my working time to blog. Okie that’s all for now. Buh-byesss
Love, Michelle
Sunday, August 22, 2010
The joy that I see in a child's eye
I watched a tv program yesterday on Astro AEC, if I am not mistaken it is called ‘Hai Zi’. It was not my first time watching it, but several and every time after watching, I feel how blessed I am to be who am I. This episode, it talks about a girl who was born without a pair of hands, it went on to talk about how the parents coped with it, the other siblings and most importantly how she coped with her physical disability. My heart tear-ed as I watched her. Why must she be born like that? I can’t answer and never know how to ask God for the reason why.
There were 2 questions that caught my attention.
1) This question was asked by people to the mother –
“If you had known the child had physical disability before she was born, would you still give birth to her?”
Mother answered “How could you ask such a question, this is a very difficult question to answer. She is born now and is my responsibility to take care of her.”
One may ask, a good mother would answer “I would give birth to this child no matter what.” Well this is what we see often on tv. What if such thing really happened to you, what would your answer be? A good mother would answer the exact thing as what this mother did.
2) The second question was asked by the child to the mother when the mother had her 2nd pregnancy.
“Mummy, when you go for check up, can you ask the doctor whether did he leave my hands in your womb,” she asked innocently.
*Don’t know what to type – as I am speechless*
There are many unfortunate people out there yet they never grumble much as we fortunate people do. Deep down they wished they could lead a normal life but they can’t.
I still remember watching my nephew who is born with a slight defect telling me happy stories. I could see he was all so excited to share with me what cartoon movies he loved to watch and he would mimic the cartoon characters. He laughed, he jumped, he clapped his hands – he was really happy.
He is young, he still does not know anything but I can feel he is too wanting to live a happy life.
Amazingly, meanings of life we learn most from children. If we try to learn from the adults, you may only learn bad things. You learn about how people will try to backstab you, how friendships don’t last long, how people try to misunderstand you and leave you out from the group, how people never try to stand in your point of view to say things, how people try to create issues, how people try to hurt people’s feelings intentionally and unintentionally.
I wished I did not have to go through all these but I have to. If it was the old me who never knew the meaning of life, I would be hurting now. Hurt because of no acceptance from certain group of people, and many other things in life but am not now. I turn a deaf ear and blind eye to all these problems.
People, look at the children around you. They are your source of joy and comfort. Is my dream to be able to host such a program. Keep praying for this, amen.
There were 2 questions that caught my attention.
1) This question was asked by people to the mother –
“If you had known the child had physical disability before she was born, would you still give birth to her?”
Mother answered “How could you ask such a question, this is a very difficult question to answer. She is born now and is my responsibility to take care of her.”
One may ask, a good mother would answer “I would give birth to this child no matter what.” Well this is what we see often on tv. What if such thing really happened to you, what would your answer be? A good mother would answer the exact thing as what this mother did.
2) The second question was asked by the child to the mother when the mother had her 2nd pregnancy.
“Mummy, when you go for check up, can you ask the doctor whether did he leave my hands in your womb,” she asked innocently.
*Don’t know what to type – as I am speechless*
There are many unfortunate people out there yet they never grumble much as we fortunate people do. Deep down they wished they could lead a normal life but they can’t.
I still remember watching my nephew who is born with a slight defect telling me happy stories. I could see he was all so excited to share with me what cartoon movies he loved to watch and he would mimic the cartoon characters. He laughed, he jumped, he clapped his hands – he was really happy.
He is young, he still does not know anything but I can feel he is too wanting to live a happy life.
Amazingly, meanings of life we learn most from children. If we try to learn from the adults, you may only learn bad things. You learn about how people will try to backstab you, how friendships don’t last long, how people try to misunderstand you and leave you out from the group, how people never try to stand in your point of view to say things, how people try to create issues, how people try to hurt people’s feelings intentionally and unintentionally.
I wished I did not have to go through all these but I have to. If it was the old me who never knew the meaning of life, I would be hurting now. Hurt because of no acceptance from certain group of people, and many other things in life but am not now. I turn a deaf ear and blind eye to all these problems.
People, look at the children around you. They are your source of joy and comfort. Is my dream to be able to host such a program. Keep praying for this, amen.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Quick to anger shows how small ur heart is to appreciate people around you
Lately, I feel that God is putting me through a series of test – be it work or human relationships. Talking about work, I feel my responsibilities are getting heavier; the stress is getting more too. There is just so much work for me to do yet I don’t know how to do using my own strength; mental & physical. I feel tired that I have to juggle between 2 jobs. Do I not like what I do now? I clearly now this is not what I really want to do for long. My passion is elsewhere not here. But I never want to leave this job for the time being. I know God placed me here for a reason. And I can’t deny I am learning a lot from here. I just need to persevere. Lord, I am persevering :)
Relationships – when humans stay connected, when they become closer, when they begin to understand one more- many things will happen. It could be conflicts, it could be misunderstanding. But whatever it is, disagreements are bound to happen and ppl fight and argue because they think they are right. Every fight, complain or whatever f*, boils down to that person just wants to think he or she is right.
Why some people are so quick to anger? Why some people don’t try to overlook small little mistakes that people do.? Why some people must purposely exaggerate small issue and make it damn drama? I live with a close friend of mine who definitely tested out my patience level. Hence, I don’t get angry easily. Trust me, this close friend of mine, his attitude can be a pain in the ass most of the time and I have lived through it for 4 years and till now I still treat him as a close friend. I got to agree with what Oprah Winfrey says, life is supposed to be filled with gratefulness and a forgiving heart. This is life and life will inevitably become beautiful. Be grateful….don’t take other people for granted.
Relationships – when humans stay connected, when they become closer, when they begin to understand one more- many things will happen. It could be conflicts, it could be misunderstanding. But whatever it is, disagreements are bound to happen and ppl fight and argue because they think they are right. Every fight, complain or whatever f*, boils down to that person just wants to think he or she is right.
Why some people are so quick to anger? Why some people don’t try to overlook small little mistakes that people do.? Why some people must purposely exaggerate small issue and make it damn drama? I live with a close friend of mine who definitely tested out my patience level. Hence, I don’t get angry easily. Trust me, this close friend of mine, his attitude can be a pain in the ass most of the time and I have lived through it for 4 years and till now I still treat him as a close friend. I got to agree with what Oprah Winfrey says, life is supposed to be filled with gratefulness and a forgiving heart. This is life and life will inevitably become beautiful. Be grateful….don’t take other people for granted.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Come and go
I once said to someone, ‘one day when you finally don’t like me, perhaps I will realize I do actually have feelings for you’. This day has finally hit to me. But my feelings weren’t that like feeling but weird. So weird that how you could be so intimate with someone in front of me when you were once trying so hard to hit on me.
I always feel that friendships without any other feelings involved will last long. But not to friendship then turned into something else and when that something else did not work, that’s the end of your friendship. Something that I will never choose to end it that way but mostly you people decide to end it that way.
Are human relationships complicated? Or do we ourselves complicate it? I choose not to complicate things but when you already complicated it, you give me no choice to just accept that complicated / awkward situation.
Right now I am just penning down what I see, how I feel – it could be right , if could be wrong - If only I knew how you felt. If only you knew how I felt.
My day is still fabulous.
I always feel that friendships without any other feelings involved will last long. But not to friendship then turned into something else and when that something else did not work, that’s the end of your friendship. Something that I will never choose to end it that way but mostly you people decide to end it that way.
Are human relationships complicated? Or do we ourselves complicate it? I choose not to complicate things but when you already complicated it, you give me no choice to just accept that complicated / awkward situation.
Right now I am just penning down what I see, how I feel – it could be right , if could be wrong - If only I knew how you felt. If only you knew how I felt.
My day is still fabulous.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Thoughts
Life’s still FABULOUS today. When it comes to Saturday evening, my whole body automatically shuts down. Sunday is the only day I treasure the most. Michelle, you are so going to church tomorrow! Yeah, am shamefully confessing I haven’t been attending church for a month plus already. Work is getting busier and my job on Saturday can be tad tiring. Is like Mon to Fri – my PR work – what I do – sometimes meet clients, write press releases and more writings to go, callings, crack my brain to how to market service and more callings especially nearing media launches. And when it comes to Saturday, my mind shifts 100% to teaching. What is more challenging is I have to speak in B. Malaysia for 5 hours long! (Dah lah I already abandoned my BM almost 6 years ago) But am proud to say I am still doing great because I do read Malay language materials. You see, if you want to improve, you have to commit yourself to doing something. Ok in a nutshell, this doesn’t give me a valid reason to not attend church every Sunday. I really missed Pastor’s message and I am always hungry for that. I know these messages are so important to me for my daily life and I always choose not to go. Oh Lord, I pray that with Your effort, wake me up tomorrow to serve You Lord. Amen.
Come to think of it, I have survived working 6 days in a week for almost 7 months. Is a great achievement to me. Yeah maybe most of you are ok with that but you see, Michelle Kow is a very lazy pig. I hate to work – eh hang on let’s just say I hated work? Hey I still don’t like to work haha. But anyway is because of working life has changed me so much. PR line has made me become a more confident person, business minded (in a good way, ok), articulate person. Teaching pulak has made me become a more down to earth person and still know how to enjoy life. Why I say so because my students (and I mean each and everyone of them) is precious and adorable in my eyes.
And these two jobs have definitely made me a more independent person. The word Independent never registered into my mind before I started working. I relied on many people on my needs and emotional well being. Even now, occasionally I still rely on some people but I try my best not to and be more independent and rely on God solely because only He listens and understands what I am going through. And only He can provide me with solutions.
Don’t know why am thinking a lot about my students. Cos they make me laugh all the time. Each one of them comes from different family backgrounds. I know most of them come from a very strict family till canning is still practiced even though they are already 13 years old. Seriously, parents..canning is only when they are young, if this continues till they are older, you child will only hate you. I feel most of my students (I won’t say all) find my classes a place to let out their anger and frustration by sharing their laughter and joy in the classroom. It is so happy to hear from them that they enjoy my class the most as compared to the rest. Aww….
Can’t describe the feeling but it is just very comforting to hear that. But dear students, teacher Michelle might leave next year. As my career begins to take a step further, I know I have other commitments. I need to spend time to improve myself to achieve what I want in my career. And my teaching job has in a way robbed me from doing so. Is very tiring, yes I can’t deny I enjoy teaching them but end of the day, I am very tired. I have no time for other things. Even now, I need to bring work back to home to do. Not because boss asks so but I need to finish, I need to improve because I want a change.
I also feel sometimes I am not very committed to teach all of them because lack of time to do preparation and I know is not fair for you and your parents who work so hard to send you to tuition. But anyway, is just a thought only. I hope I will continue to teach and maybe can schedule on the weekdays. Ok enough penning down my thoughts. Gonna watch Twilight tonight! Tee hee!
Come to think of it, I have survived working 6 days in a week for almost 7 months. Is a great achievement to me. Yeah maybe most of you are ok with that but you see, Michelle Kow is a very lazy pig. I hate to work – eh hang on let’s just say I hated work? Hey I still don’t like to work haha. But anyway is because of working life has changed me so much. PR line has made me become a more confident person, business minded (in a good way, ok), articulate person. Teaching pulak has made me become a more down to earth person and still know how to enjoy life. Why I say so because my students (and I mean each and everyone of them) is precious and adorable in my eyes.
And these two jobs have definitely made me a more independent person. The word Independent never registered into my mind before I started working. I relied on many people on my needs and emotional well being. Even now, occasionally I still rely on some people but I try my best not to and be more independent and rely on God solely because only He listens and understands what I am going through. And only He can provide me with solutions.
Don’t know why am thinking a lot about my students. Cos they make me laugh all the time. Each one of them comes from different family backgrounds. I know most of them come from a very strict family till canning is still practiced even though they are already 13 years old. Seriously, parents..canning is only when they are young, if this continues till they are older, you child will only hate you. I feel most of my students (I won’t say all) find my classes a place to let out their anger and frustration by sharing their laughter and joy in the classroom. It is so happy to hear from them that they enjoy my class the most as compared to the rest. Aww….
Can’t describe the feeling but it is just very comforting to hear that. But dear students, teacher Michelle might leave next year. As my career begins to take a step further, I know I have other commitments. I need to spend time to improve myself to achieve what I want in my career. And my teaching job has in a way robbed me from doing so. Is very tiring, yes I can’t deny I enjoy teaching them but end of the day, I am very tired. I have no time for other things. Even now, I need to bring work back to home to do. Not because boss asks so but I need to finish, I need to improve because I want a change.
I also feel sometimes I am not very committed to teach all of them because lack of time to do preparation and I know is not fair for you and your parents who work so hard to send you to tuition. But anyway, is just a thought only. I hope I will continue to teach and maybe can schedule on the weekdays. Ok enough penning down my thoughts. Gonna watch Twilight tonight! Tee hee!
Friday, July 16, 2010
Say it if you dare
My day is FABULOUS today because God opened my eyes and heart to see who are my true friends and who are not. I finally understood why my girl bestie felt angry after having found out the guy who was chasing her so badly is now with another girl. Ok why must she get angry? Coz he started dating the girl probably (I cant remember how many months) but it was a super short period of time after he told her how much he wanted her back. What is the rationale here? Well because you said you liked me so much and puff there you go with another girl. How can I ever trust you and believe how much you liked me? Thankfully, I wasn’t convinced though I was moved by what you did. I know I have no feelings for you but I still want to maintain the close relationship we have. But you are like an alien to me now. Is so interesting to see how you try to woo girls’ heart and I am glad I did not fall for that. If you happen to read this, though I know you won’t, dare u confront me to tell me what you think.
Justify yourself if you think you are ever right. Tell me straight to my face that you did not try to woo my heart and another girl’s hear AT THE SAME TIME.
Friends come and go. If you ever hear this statement, believe it. Is still a FABULOUS day for me.
Justify yourself if you think you are ever right. Tell me straight to my face that you did not try to woo my heart and another girl’s hear AT THE SAME TIME.
Friends come and go. If you ever hear this statement, believe it. Is still a FABULOUS day for me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)